PROOF

the final piece of evidence in the case to prove that tilda swinton is in fact an alien!

I can't believe...

that race walking is a legitimate sport.
I've been doing that for years.


no gold medal yet....

bullshit

internet, why can't you let me watch Miss Pettigrew Lives For a Day in peace?
it's not even a top notch movie, i just sincerely want to see if she lives for a day, or dies.
was she dead, in purgatory, and then granted the chance to live for a day in order to correct her atrocious misdeeds?
is she a sad shut in who decides to live for a day and by "live", i mean go shoe shopping and hire a male stripper?


the suspense is killing me.
is it killing miss pettigrew?

goddamit. I NEED TO KNOW!!!

the sounds of appalachia...

my neighbor, his name is brent continually decides to turn his radio up to obscene levels during the day, in his garage.

i don't know what i'm more offended by,

the fact that his taste is music consists of republican talk shows, toby keith, and this podunk banjo diddly he has playing right now

or

the effrontery of using a radio.

get with the times. jeesh.

if i'm going to sit on my ass all day, and make the commitment to it without wearing underroos and eating cheez-its out of a box, I don't think I deserve to also have your defunct audio contraption blasting into my ears.

time to put on some underroos straight from the dryer. warm and fuzzy.

the second best feeling in the world besides putting metholatum underneath your nose and having the cool, fresh sensation of mint all day long....

try it.

AMC

a chuck norris marathon....

there goes my weekend.

It's Exciting

...to create a new blog and make it appear as if that fact is something refreshing when in actuality, I'm still sitting here in my room, without my underroos or pajamas, eating out of a box of cheez-its.

but i wouldn't have it any other way.
well maybe a box of goldfish.
i've been dreaming lately of crushing them both into a bread-crumb type size and then seeing if I could bread a chicken breast with this amalgamation of coronary inducing treats, but alas I have yet to try.

Someday.
A wishlist of things to do someday:
1. Finally finish painting the house
2. The whole chicken/cheez-its recipe, yummo!
3. stop fantasizing about conan o'brien in an erotic manner and make it happen in real life! tim gunn, won't you help me make it work?!
4. wear socks, try it out, it might be nice not to have foot callouses.
5. think of a #5 (this will be the most dire and urgent of all the items on my agenda)